aka Bob Ramsdell

Bobbie: In grammar school, I was known as “Bobbie”. All other Roberts were Bobby and I don’t know how the different spelling came about. In WWII, I got a letter in the mail to “Miss Bobbie Ramsdell” asking me to join the Woman’s Army Corps! If knew then what I know now, I would have joined.

Red Dog: From the name of a character in an old West skit at Yuba College.

Okabu: (Okinawan for red head) when I was stationed on Okinawa during the Korean War. Once in San Francisco, I was waiting to cross Market Street, two years after the war, when I heard “Ok”. When I looked in back of me, there was one of my sergeants standing back of me. Often, the natives would call me Okabu Goncho were Goncho meant glasses.

Pinky: I got the name when I worked at CalTrans. On my first day at work, a friend of my brothers who was the mail carrier‘s son in 1939, saw me walk in the front door. He couldn’t remember my name and called me “Pinky”. It’s a good thing he didn’t call me Carrot Top!

Pinky Bob: Later, at CalTrans, when I complained that I could never be able to run for President of the United States with a name like Pinky. Also, “Pinky Bob” set me apart from that idiotic co medium, “Pinky Lee”.

Robert: My wife, Joyce, hated the name “Pinky”.

Flab Rimsteel: This was to be my name if I ever become a movie star like Tab Hunter, Rip Torn and others.

Baby Uncle Bob: My niece, Roslyn Raney, gave me that name because I was the baby of the family.

Grandpa Pinky: This is what my grandchildren (Chris Poling’s kids, Brandon and Sarah) called me. Joyce was “Granny Red” since both of us had red hair.

Charlie Davis: In a case of mistaken identity, there was guy who thought I was the guitar player with Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys.

Sir: As I got older, young people would call me “Sir”, but once I got a call from retired Brigadier General Michael Green . He told me that he was researching the 1847 graduating class at West Point and one of the graduates was married to a Ramsdell woman. My nephew, Richard, had originally gotten the call and told him to call me as I knew all about the family history. That felt pretty good to get the call from the general where I had only risen in the army to the exalted position of Corporal!

Pinky Tuscadero: CalTrans friend, Tony Mason, named me this after a character in “Happy Days on TV”.

George: By my mom. Once in a while when my brother, George, was there, he would say his name was Sam. She would laugh and say “I never had a son named Sam!”

Zilch: My sister Shirley called me that and I have absolutely no idea where that came from.

59 Word Story "The Unanswered Question"

Boy, am I getting tired of standing here by the road, just scratching my feet in the dirt. The traffic just keeps coming and coming.

Wait a minute! It looks like there is going to be a little break. I’ll try it

Wow, that was close! Now that I’m here , why did I cross the road?

Stories from my blog "Bob Ramsdell into the 21st Century"

I have decided to put my blog “Bob Ramsdell into the 21st Century” on my Facebook account. It has a lot of true stories, true funny stories, made up stories, entries in the Chico newspaper’s annual 59 word Short Story Contest (I have never won but it is fun trying to come up with a story in exactly 59 words). I have stories from the 30’s and 40’s in San Francisco, from the Korean War many with photos, in some cases, stock photos of the person, others with drawings, etc. Some stories just come from the top of my head which explains why I am getting bald on the top...Ha...Ha! The last two I have written are a Science Fiction story and a take off of Elmer Fudd as Dirty Harry.

When the site first comes up, there 5 pages of items. Go to “View Blog”, click it and see if there is anything on that page that interests you. Most are short. In the lower right there is “Older Posts”. Cheek them until done, go back to the beginning and go to the second page and so on. If you would like to comment on them, there is a place where you can. If there is something you want to ask me about, send me an email at bobrams47@gmail.com

The Weirdest 24 Hours Of My Life

This has been the weirdest 24 hours of my life. I had been out Sunday night and probably more than one too many beers. I was just waking up and happened to look at my ceiling where my overhead protection clock showed 7:21 AM. I jumped out of bed and went to the bathroom. I went to the window and saw the sun coming up in the West........Whoa, what’s it coming up in the West for?.

I was so late for work I didn’t give it further thought. Traffic was heavy and bumper to bumper. At one standstill, I looked to my left and the guy next to me looked familiar. He turned my way and it was me or at least an identical twin. He had on the same shirt and he looked at me like he was saying “.......who the hell are you?”

Traffic started moving and I got to the office and dashed in the front door, sat down and started filing reports. I didn’t notice fellow workers staring at my cubicle for a while. They were staring at my name plate in front of me. I turned it around and it said “TREBOR LLEDSMAR”, my name spelled backwards. Some practical joker had put it there but no one admitted it. I’ll take it home and show it to some of my friends.

At lunch, I met with my old Army buddy, Seth Appleton, who lives in a nearby town but I only see him once in a while. He had called this morning and asked if I wanted to meet with him for lunch at our favorite coffee shop, Jack’s Diner on California Street. He ordered what he always ordered, a hot roast beef sandwich and a Miller High beer. I ordered what I always order, a grilled tuna sandwich and, I decided, after remembering what my day was like, another Miller High.

We separated and I went back to the office and you know, I forgot to mention that Seth had parted his hair on the right side. Until today, he had always parted it on the left. The day was getting weirder I knew when the boss came out of his office and congratulated me on being promoted to assistant office manager when two weeks before he had given me a bad report of performance and threatened me with a possible lay off. At the afternoon coffee break, the other people sat on the other side of the room, looking in my direction and talking very quietly. Before today, it was always a noisy break with every body talking at once about baseball, politics and, in some cases. laughing at a raunchy joke.

I was glad when 5:00 rolled around and I could leave that mad house. I noticed the people on the streets seemed subdued with very little chatter from the normally boisterous crowds on their way home after a day at work.

I decided I didn’t want to be around people that night not even my girl friend who was beginning to seem distant to me anyway. I would have a TV dinner, a couple of beers, watch Monday Night Football and go to bed early. I didn’t really notice, because of the disturbing day I had had, that the sun was setting.........in the East! What the hell is going on in this temporarily, I hope, world?
I had a hard time going to sleep, so I took a sleeping pill. Even with the pill, the wind and rain came up and was howling like a hurricane. I was just start to sleep when something hit the house. I got up instantly and realized it must have been an earthquake.
I had read someplace that California was due for a big one.......but there were no aftershocks. I turned on the TV and there was no mention on the late night channels that were still on.

Well, I was finally so exhausted that I finally got some sleep. I had remembered to set the alarm and my overhead projection clock’s alarm went off like it was supposed to and I got up. I shaved and put on my shirt and tie for work and raised the curtain. The sun was back where it was supposed to be coming up, in the East

I am a science fiction fan and I am beginning to piece together what happened yesterday, such as the guy in the car next to me, the name plate with my name backwards, the boss being nice to me, my friend parting his hair on the opposite side and probably other things that I glossed over. My theory is that I went through the day in a parallel world where every thing is similar to the world I live in but here little glitches happen. I hope it never happens again. One clue was how I looked in the mirror that morning. It was like the picture on this story.

Dirty Elmer and the "cwazy Gwasshopper"

One day, Elmer Fudd went out hunting for that “cwazy gwasshopper” that had been eating all his vegetables. He didn’t have his shotgun this time because he wanted to try out his new .357 Magnum which is the most powerful handgun in the whole wide world. He was sure that he would be able to get rid of that “cwazy” pest once and for all.

He quietly came around the corner of his barn and sure enough, there it was munching on a juicy tomato leaf! He tip toed up as close as he could, but the grasshopper heard him coming and.......Boing!, he jumped just as Elmer fired.......POW!.....then in rapid succession....Boing!........POW!........Boing!........POW!.........Boing!.......POW!........Boing!........POW!..........Boing!.......POW!.........Boing!.........CLICK?

“Phooey! I wan out of buwwets!”. I forgot how many “buwwets” it holds”. Next time, I’m going to bring my shotgun and you are going to “Make My Day” you pesky pest!

Guiness Book of World Records: 178 Foot Dash

When I was working at CalTrans in the late 50’s, Stuart Wright and I were assigned to take a speed zone survey on Highway 20 just west of Yuba City. Back in those days we didn’t have any of the fancy radar guns like they use now. We would set up two mirrors along the west bound lane, 178 feet apart. When a car went by the first mirror, we would click the stop watch and click it again when we saw the reflection in the second mirror and jot down the difference in times. Back at the office, we would convert the time to speed since 60 miles per hour was 88 feet per second we could figure out the speed of the car. The 178 foot distance gave us a double check.

We had done a lot of these surveys before in all situations, rural and urban. This was a very slow day, it was hot and very little traffic. Stuart thought it would be fun to see how fast we could each run the 178 foot distance. I timed Stuart and he timed me. I won and that is why I am claiming the record to enter into the Guinness Book of World Records.

Stuart, however, disputed the record by claiming I beat him because half way through his run, his shoe fell off and he had to stop and put it back on! If you ask me, that is just too bad, he should have tied his shoes on better!

"Rapper" Bob

After the first of the NBA playoffs between the Lakers and the Magic, Jimmy Kimmel was interviewing Eminem. Eminnem agreed to teach Jimmy how to “Rap”. Here is my first “Rap” effort.

"Rapper" Bob

My name is Bob
and rap’s my job.
It’s better than Pinky
and nobody calls me Stinky.
I’m a real cool cat
and that’s where I’m at.
I’ve learned to say “dude”
with my new attitude.
I live in Oregon
and it’s not “Boring and on”.
When I go to the Ocean
I look forward to crab and salt water taffy
Cause the salt water taffy makes me daffy.
and what's the perfect way to end this “malaise-y”?
Get to the Acropolis and go crazy!

Maybe I should bill myself as the World’s Oldest Rapper!!